Author(s): Michael Thornton

Humour

Australia has five million baby boomers. Seventy-one-year-old Michael Thornton is one of them. He is so pissed off about the state of things, he's listed 3,300 gripes. Among them:? otherwise bright folk, from the PM down, who say 'amount' of people instead of 'number'? Australia's richest person is said to earn $33,000 per minute? being beaten at Scrabble by his Filipina mother-in-law, ? English being her second language ? leaf blowers? lowlife who put needles in fruit to try and kill us? greed? when the pathology nurse says, with a deep sigh, ? 'Let's try your other arm!'? Michelangelo didn't endow David a little more generously? the link between his dentist's fees to extract his teeth, and the dentist's kids' school fees? wanting to know if Dynamic Lifter works the same as Viagra? asking for a friend? the exorbitant cost of building Australia's major roads: ? $155 per inch per lane? wanting cave rescuers Drs Richard Harris and Craig Challen as joint Governors-General? will the in-studio panel on ABC TV Insiders ever drink the coffee?? half a large pizza is never enough? not knowing how to use most of the functions on his phone? five-year-olds, who get away with murder? after coronavirus, the millennials plan to do away with all remaining baby boomers